It Was All About Me

Today’s Word Count for the Novel: 121, 469. 3781 words added.

Page Count for the novel: 443

You know you’re in the presence of a great teacher when she cares more about your work than she does herself.

A local author and teacher, Ruth Moose, just returned a manuscript to me, and her comments were all about my story. You’d think it would be an obvious of the profession, giving full attention to the student’s work, but as proven through various cry-tiques I’ve received before, this approach is not as common as one would like. In fact, I’ve seen too many egos drive critiques, where the critic makes it all about them, almost like a bodybuilder’s display of obscene muscle, as in, “How big am I?” Not so helpful when your work needs serious revision.

What did Ruth do that made her critique so helpful and effective? I’ve made a list of what we should all expect from an editor and what we should give if we dare to take up the editorial business:

She was glad to be doing her job. Joyful, even. Her comments celebrated my work’s victories, whether it was a spontaneous comment in the margin, “I love this!” to a celebration of the story’s effective ending.

She gave specific feedback. She pinpointed the structural areas of the story (exposition, climax) where work was needed and challenged my characterization (back story, names, choices). The specific feedback took the form of both line edits and a summative letter. Her line edits rewrote sections or inserted suggestions and questions, working in concert with the letter where she waxed philosophical. “Opening has so much to do in a short space. Reader has to get comfortable where they are, who is telling this story, etc. (An aside. John Gardner said the writer has to build a nest for the reader to come live in for a little while.)” The test of such feedback is seeing how the writer responds, and my response was to study my exposition and annotate with “BUILD A NEST” and keep asking myself how I’m doing or not doing that.

She inspired me. If after a critique you find yourself paraphrasing, translating, and applying your critic's suggestions, then you are inspired. The sleeves are rolling up, the hands are getting dirty again, and the story is coming alive for you again. Obviously, the writer must be the one to bring a full dose of motivation -- have none, and no matter how brilliant the editor, nothing shall get done -- but great feedback does fan the flames of motivation. I am back at this manuscript again, having taken it through another draft since she looked at it and probably at least one or two more before I submit again.

She put her hands in the clay and helped wrestle with the problem of sculpting. An intentional metaphor, as a lot of editors refuse to get their hands dirty with the true challenge of editorial work. Take her feedback on the climax of my story: “We (the reader) really need more of an impact when R. overhears D.’s phone conversation. (Such a modern-day Hardy device as in the misplaced or lost letter that appears at the opportune time.) I wish there was another way to let her discover this affair. Some original way. I just don’t know what. But…I do know R. needs to react more when she learns this. Stops stock still. Leans against he wall, thinks Lord this can’t be true. My best friend?” This is only part of a long paragraph I received regarding the climax, and you see how the editor digs in and admits there’s a problem and some unresolved issues, one that only I can solve. Even as I reread this feedback, I’m getting an idea of how to rewrite that scene.

She made her suggestions from a place of excitement, not niggardly, jealous hunting for pecadilloes. Believe me, I'm often the subject of someone's critique, coming from a soul who is darkened by a lack of creative effort. (If you know Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way, then you know what a shadow artist is -- a person who isn't following an artistic path and souring because of that every minute. If she sees someone else creating, she hates it and plays the Destroyer.) Each time this person sees my work, she hunts hard for something wrong. Any celebration is couched with, "Well, you know, you missed a spot." It's never helpful feedback, inspiring thoughtful dialogue, but rather, "You thought you were good, but let me take you down a peg since I am busy not creating." (Ironically, this person can't see just how jealous she is, and perceives that she is tremendously helpful, but every time she deals with others, she leaves them feeling robbed of joy.)

My novel's critic came from the same place of unhelpful competition. This sensibility and approach is all felt rather than seen. It may be evidenced in wording or focus, but overall, you know when you are in the presence of someone who truly appreciates your effort and offers suggestions in the spirit of joy.

She knew her stuff. This author had not only taught for years but was trained by some of the best. She could talk Gardner and Hardy. She had enough expertise in educating that she knew when to admit “I don’t know” and step back without defensiveness to let me solve the story’s problems. It’s important that we know some things about an editor before we sign on: college degree, teaching experience, and body of work. This editor had all of the above and more. A reference doesn’t hurt, either. I had testimony of how inspired and encouraged someone else was by her teaching.

And I do mean teaching. In my view, editing is teaching. Assuming a writer wants to improve, the editor should act like the coach on the sidelines, shouting the edits when the player screws up but with caring and concern. The editor is not the writer or the rewriter, but the one who has the view of the whole field and the various strategies for executing the plays. Sometimes she has to shout to get the player’s attention.

In the midst of a narcissism epidemic, this culture suffering from a plethora of all-about-me'ers, perhaps I should hesitate from saying "It Was All About Me." but as a long-time teacher, I always tried to remember that I was coach, facilitator, and background to the students on my stage. I was not the hero or the protagonist. When this editor critiqued my work, she did not "hold forth" but instead held my work up under the hot lamp and gave a fair, clean, sunlit response.

It’s not often that post-critique one feels content and inspired all at once. I’m ready to face the lions of rejection that await this story. I know it’s growing into something great, and that’s because I've had some real help along the way.

Writing Goal: My ultimate aim: 150,000 – 170,000 words and a complete fourth draft ready for hard-copy editing by the time of an August retreat. At that point I'll consider the novel in a few days, as if I were a first-time reader, and hopefully get a glimpse of it as a whole. I am also revising a short story, the one Ruth edited.

Writing Prompts: Please note that writing prompts should always be pursued in emotionally-safe environments with the supervision of someone who interested in encouraging good writing, self-awareness, and reflection. A wonderful resource is Pat Schneider’s Writing Alone and With Others.

© Lyn Hawks. Writing prompts for one-time classroom use only and not for publication in any form elsewhere without permission of this author.

Prompt for All Ages:

What makes a great teacher? Describe a great teacher you know or have known. Tell this person specifically what makes her teaching great.

Write this person a thank you letter.

To a Friend

Hey, You.
Hanging on by a cuticle and various shreds.
This is not your freaky Future.
This is not your petty Past
or even the Present.
This is a test flight,
Apollo flaming up at ground zero,
and You racing out, hair on fire.

You got this.
You, like Lucille say, a city of a woman.
No one can contain You.

The shadow artists,
the impostors,
the lazy victims,
scrabbling at the edges,
they may leave toothmarks,
graze the bone,
but they take no flesh.

They don’t know You.

Just so You know…

No one can stop the laughter,
Source springing eternal,
the beautiful madness and beauty within.
Crayzee was never this good.

See that funnel cloud on the horizon,
spinning your way?
Duck and cover,
dodge,
and hold fast to that which bears loads
and carries our water.
And rise again,
girl.
Rise again!

-- Dedicated to my friend Teresa

Today’s Word Count for the Novel: 117,688. 1490 words removed.
Page Count for the novel: 428

Last night I attended an inspirational talk at the Pittsboro Library, given by Ruth Moose, a poet, short story writer, and professor at UNC. Talk about effervescent! She is a role model for teachers everywhere. She reminded me that joy is what we must bring to learning and speaking, not pride or fear. She reminded me that every moment is a chance to celebrate, and poetry is a perfect choice. How lucky are we to have words to play with?

Poetry is also a way to console oneself and others. It's a way to grieve.

Though I wouldn’t call myself a regular poet, I went home and wrote this first draft of a poem in tribute to a friend. I chose poetry as a way to love my friend and speak out against frustrations, pettiness, and sheer wrongs...all the ways that man has "bleared" and "smeared" things. I feel better when I see art take shape.

We all need to be doing daily poetry, before-bedtime poetry, in-the-car poetry, office cubicle poetry, rogue poetry, strange poetry, mouth-off poetry. I will stop calling myself a maybe poet and own poetry as art to love and try as often as I can.

I'm blessed to be in a women's writing group that honors all kinds of writing. Last night we each brought our favorite poems, from You Are My I Love You, a children's book by Maryann Cusimano, to Pablo Neruda reminding us of our "roots," to Mary Oliver telling us how birds in a field of thistle tell us how to stop, to Thomas Merton reminding us our strength, all perfect celebrations with words, and we each wrote in response to whatever moved us. So much depends...upon poetry!

Writing Goal: Finish hard-copy edits on 28 more pages while entering edits electronically for the prior 22. My ultimate aim: 150,000 – 170,000 words and a complete fourth draft ready for hard-copy editing by the time of a retreat to consider the novel in a few days, to really get a glimpse of it as a whole.

I am also revising a short story and an essay.

Writing Prompts: Please note that writing prompts should always be pursued in emotionally-safe environments with the supervision of someone who interested in encouraging good writing, self-awareness, and reflection. A wonderful resource is Pat Schneider’s Writing Alone and With Others.

© Lyn Hawks. Writing prompts for one-time classroom use only and not for publication in any form elsewhere without permission of this author.


Elementary

Option #1: Helping a Friend

Do you know someone who is hurting? Do you have a friend who needs some help?

There are many ways we can help another person. List your favorite ways to help someone else. What are you particularly good at doing that might help someone else? Can you crack a good joke? Can you do a funny dance? Can you help with chores or write a special note? Can you invite the person to share or do something with you?

Write about a time when you helped a friend or when a friend helped you.

Option #2: Making Me Feel Small

Has anyone ever accused you of something you didn’t do? Or has someone told you that they don’t appreciate or like you very much?

Describe how you felt. Choose one or more of the following sentences to get started:

“I felt so small that…”
“I felt as angry as a…”
“I was so confused that I…”
“I felt more scared than a…”
“I wanted to…”
“If it ever happens again, I will…”

How many ways can you describe how you felt?

If you want a bigger challenge, turn your story into a children’s book that teaches kids not to do what happened to you. Make up a story using animals, plants, or magical people to tell your version of the story in a way that children can understand.

Option #3: Strong as a…

There are many things in life that are strong. People might use expressions such as, “She’’s strong as an ox!” or “He’s a rock.” We often use things in nature to help us describe strength.

Draw pictures of all the things in nature you know are very, very strong. Perhaps they are

-- unbreakable
-- bigger than many other things
-- heavier than other things
-- able to destroy
-- able to stand up to water or wind
-- able to stand up to fire or heat
-- able to resist damage

Write a note from the very strong thing to the rest of the world. Let this mineral, plant, animal, or other natural element have its say. The first sentence might be, “Let me tell you why I’m so strong. I’m so strong that…”

Secondary and Adult

Option #1: Helping a Friend

As we age, our definition of friendship evolves. What are all the ways we might help a friend?

Look at the list below. Choose one way of helping that reminds you of a moment of friendship. Tell the story of how this way helped you or someone else.

-- speaking up when no one else would
-- staying silent
-- sharing an experience
-- giving an object that might mean nothing to other people
-- sharing a compliment
-- telling the truth

Option #2: Making Me Feel Small

Why do people bully? Why do sometimes we wish to make others feel badly, or small? Why must we act superior?

There are many reasons, such as pride, jealousy, and meanness. Take a moment to think about someone who really bothers you, gets under your skin, and even haunts you. This is a person you really wouldn’t miss if he or she left the country. Wait a minute! How did your feelings get so strong?

Find what it is about this person that makes you “act small.” In other words, why do you find yourself unable to follow the Golden Rule, to be compassionate, to cut this person a break? This person does not control your actions, and yet, you act small when you think of the person or see the person.

Help yourself make sense of this.

Option #3: Strong as a…

We often use natural phenomena to help us describe strength.

Draw pictures of all the things in nature you know possess incredible strength. Perhaps they are

-- unbreakable
-- bigger than many other things
-- heavier than other things
-- able to destroy
-- able to stand up to water or wind
-- able to stand up to fire or heat
-- able to resist damage

Be the voice of this element of nature. Write its testament, poem, or song of pride.