Patience

"(she) pined in thought,
And with a green and yellow melancholy
She sat like patience on a monument,
Smiling at grief. . . .
(II.iv.111–114, Shakespeare's Twelfth Night)

Today’s Word Count for the Novel: 121, 539. (Little movement since last post; see what else I've been doing below.)

Page Count for the novel: 443

I don't imagine anyone in my immediate circle would dare accuse me of patience, but something about turning 40 has forced me to slow things down.

Let's not get excited and call it a habit. Sometimes, just sometimes, I'm able to wait and see.

I used to hate it when my mom would say that.

"Can we go to Great America?" (The best amusement park when I was a kid.)

"Let's wait and see." (Actually, we got to go about twice a year, very generous of my folks now that I have a back and neck in chiropractic care and wouldn't dare subject myself to the havoc those rides make with your bones. My poor parents.)

Wait and see turns out to be the healthiest approach when you don't hear back from an editor, a magazine, or a contest. It's important to check in eventually to see if you're still in the running, but it's also important to let go. Publication is pretty much a "meant-to-be" scenario. Sweat makes the writing, and sweat makes the initial contacts, but sweat while harassing an editor weekly does not make for publication. In other words, we do well not to nag and stew. We do well if we go back to creating and revision.

The average waiting time for good news to arrive is anywhere between six and twelve months. A friend and fellow writer, Nancy Purcell, just shared with me that Chicken Soup for the Soul accepted one of her essays after a yearlong wait. In 2008 I wrote a short story that's been a finalist for Glimmer Train and Stanford Magazine contests and got a nod from Missouri Review, but it has yet to find a home. I'll soon submit it to the AROHO contest. This orphan passed from foster home to foster home did lead an editor to ask whether there was any nonfiction behind the fiction. I pulled the memoir threads and created something new. It's been three months since that submission and last week I heard that it would be published in January of 2010.

In the meantime, I've had two stories in the critique cooker; a novel on a low, low simmer; and a second manuscript in a series for NCTE -- Teaching Julius Caesar: A Differentiated Approach -- in heavy edits. Yesterday I submitted one of those stories to the Esquire Contest, and after this weekend, I hope to send in Caesar. If these hands go idle, the devil of impatience and fear grips them. I say to myself, "What have you done lately? You have nothing to show."

This product-driven society insists that we produce something perfect immediately, to show for all our sweat. At home I hear my husband counsel his music students who fall into a "green and yellow melancholy" when they can't sound like Guitar Hero after the first practice. One student who showed excellent aptitude in the first lesson hung his head and teared up. Greg said gently, "What's wrong?"

The boy said, "I just want so bad to be good."

Greg doesn't say this to everyone, but he could with this particular boy whom he already knew well. He said, "Do you know how ridiculous that sounds?"

The boy's eyes widened, and Greg began to explain the path ahead for someone who truly wants to be good -- a lot of hard work. If you understand that it takes a while to be good, then you will need to focus on the moment of practice rather than the pressure to be good right away.

I can see tender-hearted parents cringing at the "harsh realities" Greg shares with a 12 year-old, but here's the thing: if you share them gently and kindly as he does, and in between honest and not invented compliments, you prep the young musician or writer to succeed. The first step is understanding that talent and success are never handed to us. Well, maybe to some, but eventually a lack of sweat will catch up with you. The years it's taken for Greg Hawks to become Greg Hawks on the guitar, and mandolin, and banjo...Greg only referred to those years in a brief sentence, since a preteen can't comprehend a quarter century of practice. Greg instead gets the kids playing music they love and talks a lot about persistence.

A like melancholy does settle upon the child inside a writer who hasn't heard anything about her work. I "pine in thought" over what I haven't yet done. Writing for many venues and anticipating responses from many places soothes the itch. I write for an educational nonprofit by day. In my spare time, I write essays, fiction, and a novel.

This week I will head to the beach with a great group of women who struggle like me to find time to write.We joke about how hard we are on ourselves, expecting that we do it all -- be the perfect partner, parent, and of course, writer. All of these relationships must bear recognizable fruit, right? We need to see everyone around us beaming while simultaneously getting our names in print.

Where'd we get that idea? Haven't we just crawled out of the slime of the twentieth century, where a room of one's own was victory enough?

In the blessings of sand, surf, and sunshine, let me open my arms and embrace the stillness of the universe, there for the tasting if I would just stop once in a while.

Writing Goal: My ultimate aim: 150,000 – 170,000 words and a complete fourth draft ready for hard-copy editing by December. This August retreat will allow me to consider part of the novel in a few days, to really get a glimpse of what I've done thus far and whether it meanders too much. I am also writing a new short story for the Good Housekeeping contest.

Writing Prompts: Please note that writing prompts should always be pursued in emotionally-safe environments with the supervision of someone who interested in encouraging good writing, self-awareness, and reflection. A wonderful resource is Pat Schneider’s Writing Alone and With Others.

© Lyn Hawks. Writing prompts for one-time classroom use only and not for publication in any form elsewhere without permission of this author.

Elementary Prompts

Persistence Makes Perfect?

Option A: When have you tried very hard -- and kept trying without giving up? This is called persistence. What did you do? How did you feel at the end? How did other people react when they saw what you did? Would you do it again? Why or why not?

Compare trying hard to a color, a shape, and then something in nature (plant, animal, or something else). Explain why you make this comparison.

Option B: Do you think you are a persistent person? How do you know?

Option C: Do you think people should try to be perfect at something? Why or why not?

Option D: Finish this sentence (write until I call time): Nothing could make me give up except...

Patience

Option A: Who do you know who is very patient? Describe this person and describe some times when you saw this person be very, very patient.

Option B: How patient are you? If "1" is very impatient and "10" is "very patient," where would you put yourself? Tell a story about being very impatient or very patient.

Option C: Finish this sentence (write until I call time): I waited and waited for...

Secondary and Adult Prompts

Persistence Makes Perfect?

Option A: When have you been very persistent? What did you do? Why did you stick with things? Were you ever discouraged or told not to continue, but did anyway? Why? How did you feel at the end? How did other people react when they saw what you did? Would you do it again? Why or why not?

Compare persistence to a person, place, or thing. Explain why you use this metaphor.

Option B: Define persistence. Think of a time when persistence has really helped you or could help someone else you know. Write an advertisement -- a public service announcement -- for persistence.

Option C: Do you think you are a persistent person? How do you know? Do you believe this about yourself because of your accomplishments or what others tell you? If you don't believe you are very persistent, who is someone you admire for their tenacity?

Option D: Do you think people should try to be perfect at something? Why or why not? Does persistence lead to perfection, or something else?

Option E: Finish this sentence (write until I call time): After hours of trying I couldn't believe I...

It Was All About Me

Today’s Word Count for the Novel: 121, 469. 3781 words added.

Page Count for the novel: 443

You know you’re in the presence of a great teacher when she cares more about your work than she does herself.

A local author and teacher, Ruth Moose, just returned a manuscript to me, and her comments were all about my story. You’d think it would be an obvious of the profession, giving full attention to the student’s work, but as proven through various cry-tiques I’ve received before, this approach is not as common as one would like. In fact, I’ve seen too many egos drive critiques, where the critic makes it all about them, almost like a bodybuilder’s display of obscene muscle, as in, “How big am I?” Not so helpful when your work needs serious revision.

What did Ruth do that made her critique so helpful and effective? I’ve made a list of what we should all expect from an editor and what we should give if we dare to take up the editorial business:

She was glad to be doing her job. Joyful, even. Her comments celebrated my work’s victories, whether it was a spontaneous comment in the margin, “I love this!” to a celebration of the story’s effective ending.

She gave specific feedback. She pinpointed the structural areas of the story (exposition, climax) where work was needed and challenged my characterization (back story, names, choices). The specific feedback took the form of both line edits and a summative letter. Her line edits rewrote sections or inserted suggestions and questions, working in concert with the letter where she waxed philosophical. “Opening has so much to do in a short space. Reader has to get comfortable where they are, who is telling this story, etc. (An aside. John Gardner said the writer has to build a nest for the reader to come live in for a little while.)” The test of such feedback is seeing how the writer responds, and my response was to study my exposition and annotate with “BUILD A NEST” and keep asking myself how I’m doing or not doing that.

She inspired me. If after a critique you find yourself paraphrasing, translating, and applying your critic's suggestions, then you are inspired. The sleeves are rolling up, the hands are getting dirty again, and the story is coming alive for you again. Obviously, the writer must be the one to bring a full dose of motivation -- have none, and no matter how brilliant the editor, nothing shall get done -- but great feedback does fan the flames of motivation. I am back at this manuscript again, having taken it through another draft since she looked at it and probably at least one or two more before I submit again.

She put her hands in the clay and helped wrestle with the problem of sculpting. An intentional metaphor, as a lot of editors refuse to get their hands dirty with the true challenge of editorial work. Take her feedback on the climax of my story: “We (the reader) really need more of an impact when R. overhears D.’s phone conversation. (Such a modern-day Hardy device as in the misplaced or lost letter that appears at the opportune time.) I wish there was another way to let her discover this affair. Some original way. I just don’t know what. But…I do know R. needs to react more when she learns this. Stops stock still. Leans against he wall, thinks Lord this can’t be true. My best friend?” This is only part of a long paragraph I received regarding the climax, and you see how the editor digs in and admits there’s a problem and some unresolved issues, one that only I can solve. Even as I reread this feedback, I’m getting an idea of how to rewrite that scene.

She made her suggestions from a place of excitement, not niggardly, jealous hunting for pecadilloes. Believe me, I'm often the subject of someone's critique, coming from a soul who is darkened by a lack of creative effort. (If you know Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way, then you know what a shadow artist is -- a person who isn't following an artistic path and souring because of that every minute. If she sees someone else creating, she hates it and plays the Destroyer.) Each time this person sees my work, she hunts hard for something wrong. Any celebration is couched with, "Well, you know, you missed a spot." It's never helpful feedback, inspiring thoughtful dialogue, but rather, "You thought you were good, but let me take you down a peg since I am busy not creating." (Ironically, this person can't see just how jealous she is, and perceives that she is tremendously helpful, but every time she deals with others, she leaves them feeling robbed of joy.)

My novel's critic came from the same place of unhelpful competition. This sensibility and approach is all felt rather than seen. It may be evidenced in wording or focus, but overall, you know when you are in the presence of someone who truly appreciates your effort and offers suggestions in the spirit of joy.

She knew her stuff. This author had not only taught for years but was trained by some of the best. She could talk Gardner and Hardy. She had enough expertise in educating that she knew when to admit “I don’t know” and step back without defensiveness to let me solve the story’s problems. It’s important that we know some things about an editor before we sign on: college degree, teaching experience, and body of work. This editor had all of the above and more. A reference doesn’t hurt, either. I had testimony of how inspired and encouraged someone else was by her teaching.

And I do mean teaching. In my view, editing is teaching. Assuming a writer wants to improve, the editor should act like the coach on the sidelines, shouting the edits when the player screws up but with caring and concern. The editor is not the writer or the rewriter, but the one who has the view of the whole field and the various strategies for executing the plays. Sometimes she has to shout to get the player’s attention.

In the midst of a narcissism epidemic, this culture suffering from a plethora of all-about-me'ers, perhaps I should hesitate from saying "It Was All About Me." but as a long-time teacher, I always tried to remember that I was coach, facilitator, and background to the students on my stage. I was not the hero or the protagonist. When this editor critiqued my work, she did not "hold forth" but instead held my work up under the hot lamp and gave a fair, clean, sunlit response.

It’s not often that post-critique one feels content and inspired all at once. I’m ready to face the lions of rejection that await this story. I know it’s growing into something great, and that’s because I've had some real help along the way.

Writing Goal: My ultimate aim: 150,000 – 170,000 words and a complete fourth draft ready for hard-copy editing by the time of an August retreat. At that point I'll consider the novel in a few days, as if I were a first-time reader, and hopefully get a glimpse of it as a whole. I am also revising a short story, the one Ruth edited.

Writing Prompts: Please note that writing prompts should always be pursued in emotionally-safe environments with the supervision of someone who interested in encouraging good writing, self-awareness, and reflection. A wonderful resource is Pat Schneider’s Writing Alone and With Others.

© Lyn Hawks. Writing prompts for one-time classroom use only and not for publication in any form elsewhere without permission of this author.

Prompt for All Ages:

What makes a great teacher? Describe a great teacher you know or have known. Tell this person specifically what makes her teaching great.

Write this person a thank you letter.