-- Ann Napolitano
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What a difference a year makes. The story has changed, a lot. Characters have come and gone. Past events have become present events. The story is better.
But a year! Wow. Have I really spent a year revising? Meanwhile, the books roll out from other authors (I know one YA author who cranks out one a year) and I feel, well, behind. Old. Stuck.
The wise part of me says we'll sell no book before it's time. Agent Rachelle Gardner had a similar message this year when she observed there's a glut of self-published books on our market, pushed out too soon. The need for speed, that American zeitgeist, does make me wonder if I'm so stupid to wait, so ridiculous to allow these months to pass, so behind the times.
But I know better. You don't get to your fourth decade of writing and still believe that art works on a timeline or that I crank things out like a machine.
There will always be this tension between the human and the machine. As we surround ourselves with more and more machines to do the past work of our memories (my iTouch pinging me with calendar dates, Wikipedia holding all the bits and bytes of data I once had to memorize) and as we raise the expectations on human output (you've got a computer, you can type faster, generate content faster, post faster), it's also tempting to think we can robot our way through a complex task. But it's an illusion. Art will remain stubbornly human--true art, that is, not cheap entertainment--and because of that, the impatient souls out there like me must accept that.
Some would argue that agents and publishers slow down the process, by at least 1-4 years, if not more, and they're right. But there's the other human part, the dialogue between two people who want to figure out how we can sell this thing, and then the committee of folks at a publishing house who will actually put it on the market.
I could also let go of the goal of selling. Some would argue that art is not for sale and artists ought to give it away for free. And if I'm not stuck on selling, then I could skip this whole process.
But I won't. I aim to sell this thing, someday.
If time is my obsession, and I'm flagellating myself for being "too slow," I need to take the long view.
I've written almost all my life, since I was seven, but the practice and craft (rather than the fun and play part) inform my daily life now. Sure, I've seen some success--the short pieces that gained publication, the novel excerpts and short stories that have won awards, they flicker like tiny dancing beams of light in a long dark night of rejection--but the novel, the thing that takes so much focus and patience and faith, it's "the thing" I can't let go till it sees publication. This is THE THING I MUST DO--the true sign of success. Therefore I'm in this for the long haul.
While the fourth draft sits in Sarah's hands, I'm building a detailed revision plan that looks like this--4 columns across--where I find out what the heck I've done.
CHAPTER GENERAL DESCRIPTION CONFLICT SCENE GOAL
Ahead of me are several more days of revision, no matter what feedback I get. Because while I find the manuscript close, it's still got a few unresolved aspects that I want to improve.
I will get better. I will go deeper. That's it.
3 comments:
Oh Lyn, your post couldn’t have come at a more perfect time for me. I needed to read this, an excellent reminder that as writers, we are not alone, especially when I’m feeling so discouraged.
I am in the third month of querying my second manuscript, and July is the worst month to query. Nobody is home, and the radio silence in agentland is killing me. The static that does manage to come through is in the form of rejections on full manuscripts. While this story has garnered more success than last year’s manuscript, I’m still searching for the agent that has the same reaction as one of my beta readers. She’d almost forgotten to pick her son up from school because she was so engrossed with the story.
I know that agent is out there. Somewhere. But it’s hard not to be discouraged in the meantime. Do I start a new story? Do I revise my current one? (This more than anything makes me feel like I’ve wasted so much time. Like you, I feel like I’m behind schedule.) Do I self-publish? (No!)
Lately, it seems only other writers walking the same path as me understand why I won’t self publish. My sister self-published! Friends and family continuously ask me why I’m a glutton for punishment when there’s an easier way to publication. And you nailed it. It’s too easy. It’s too convenient. It doesn’t push writers to become better at their skills. As a result, the market is saturated with poorly crafted stories riddled with grammatical errors. (Which is why I won’t divulge my sister’s pen name.) Of course, not all self-published books fall within this category, but there are many.
I admire you for pushing yourself to revise and revise and revise your story. That takes effort and perseverance. You’ll be an even greater writer when done than you were when you started. And you’re so blessed to have a professional team by your side believing in your abilities to deliver a story that will sell, and sell well. I can’t wait to read it!
Thanks for the wonderful reminder as to why we do what we do. Excellent pep talk!
Going deeper! Off to my cave...
Kerry
Hang in there, Lyn, and keep taking things one step at a time. Take whatever the next step in front of you is and things will unfold. I am pulling for you and praying for you. You are doing it!
Peace,
Marcia
Hi, Kerry,
Amen! The devotion to querying seems crazy with all the summer doldrums and questioning one gets from others, but I get you, I get you! I've done the rounds of silence, the rejections, all you're dealing with, and nothing but my faith stayed with me. When you get a reaction from a beta reader like you have, you know there's a reason to press on, so I admire you very much.
I have a fight or flight tendency, I guess very human, and though many times in this process I've wanted to flee, like you I find solace in the cave and reason to press on. Keep on keepin' on!
Marcia,
Your prayers carry me through. You're a prayer warrior! Thank you. Meanwhile I picture your poems in process, your essay in incubation, your sports meditation in incarnation!
Lyn
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